Elayna Marie

Written by: Emma Schieldt

Photo Cred: Krysthol  Davis Photography

On February 9, 2018 our first born was stillborn at 36 weeks.

On February 7th I woke up like any normal day.  The night before I felt my daughter moving all around in my belly. I took my dog for a walk hoping to speed up labor process since I was in early stages of labor. I got ready for work, and before I left my house, I realized I hadn’t felt my daughter move yet.  That wasn’t too out of the ordinary.  She was more active during the evening and night time. I went to work and thought once I was there and was sitting down she would start moving. A few hours later and still no movement.  I began to panic.  I knew something was wrong, but never thought she could have passed away.  I left work early and went up to the hospital to be checked out.  I thought they would find her heartbeat and send me on my way home and I could relax.  But, after 30 minutes or so of a few different OB nurses trying to find her heartbeat without any luck, my doctor came in and confirmed on ultrasound my worst nightmare.  My perfect baby had no heartbeat.

A part of me died at that exact moment.  I was blindsided by the news.  I was heartbroken, angry, confused, and a complete mess.  I decided to go home that night and come back the next morning to be induced.  I remember just hoping to wake up from that nightmare and have my baby I carried for 36 weeks be okay.

After 30 hours of labor, my perfect daughter, Elayna Marie, was born still. She was perfect in every way.  She was 6lb 11oz and 20.5in long.  My fiancé and my mom were by my side the entire time.  A few other family members were able to come up and meet her.  We only had 12 precious hours with her to say hello and goodbye.

I left the hospital without my baby and went home to an empty crib and nursery.  Instead of learning how to breastfeed, change diapers, and rock my baby, I was planned her funeral. We had her cremated so she could be with us forever.

Photographed is Elayna Bear with mom, Emma, pregnant with now four month old rainbow Felix 😇💙🌈